Have you ever suffered because of someone else's bad choices?

All of us, at one time or another, have found ourselves suffering because of someone else's poor choices. And while suffering is relative to the person experiencing it, I think it's fair to say that the suffering tends to be worse when it's brought on by a choice made by a person you're seemingly inextricably linked to. A marriage is a good example.

It's that sense of feeling “stuck” and knowing — “If this person doesn't course correct quickly, they're going to crash and I'm crashing with them.” It's scary and it's painful. You feel out of control and maybe even angry or bitter. And all of a sudden we find ourselves doing that crazy dance between trying to escape and distance ourselves and trying to get them to “straighten up and fly right.” We think the only two options we have are to disconnect or to make them be perfect somehow. All because we don't feel safe.

The question is — How do you trust God to keep you safe when people you are connected to and relying on keep making mistakes and bad decisions? How can can you maintain connection with imperfect people while also learning to find a deep sense of safety in God no matter what may come?

This is what we're getting into on this episode of the Positioned to Prosper podcast. So if you're ready to lean in so you can get to breakthrough in the area of building connection and intimacy, even in the midst of potential let down or pain, I want you to grab your Bible, your journal and a pen, and . . . Let's Go!

What you will learn in this episode:

  • How old roots of trauma from being let down or being made to suffer for others' poor choices can continue to produce hypervigilance into later years of life;
  • How, if we do not directly address these roots, they will continue to produce situations where we cannot trust and we continue suffering;
  • And 6 specific things to consider and action in your life to break the lie that you'll always be a victim to others' bad choices and that there's nothing you can do to trust God and see change come (p.s. — that last part is really a lie and we're breaking up with it in today's episode).

Scripture References mentioned in this episode:

Romans 5:8 —
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

1 Peter 3:7 —
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

2 Samuel 6:20-23 —
And David returned to bless his household. But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said, “How the king of Israel honored himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants' female servants, as one of the vulgar fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!” And David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me above your father and above all his house, to appoint me as prince over Israel, the people of the Lord—and I will celebrate before the Lord. I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in your eyes. But by the female servants of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honor.” And Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death.

1 Corinthians 7:13-16 —
If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Links to Resources Mentioned in This Episode

If you'd like more conversations like this in your life with an opportunity to go deeper and be more intentional about growing to breakthrough (and you're a woman!), join us inside the REVIVE Woman Community. Hop into our community group and we'll see you there as we continue the discussion.


Erica co-leads a local church alongside her husband, Doug, in Tampa, Florida called REVIVE Church of Tampa. You can visit the church's website for more information about who we are, what we believe and how we show up as the Church in the heart of West Tampa and beyond.

REVIVE Church of Tampa

REVIVE Church of Tampa streams services live on Friday nights at 7pm ET and Sunday mornings at 11am ET. You can find those livestreams on our church Facebook page:

Live Services – Fridays at 7pm ET and Sundays at 11am ET

If you're interested in joining the online campus of REVIVE Church of Tampa, you are welcome to join our community group on Facebook where we offer weekly discussion around the Friday and Sunday messages as well as discipleship Zoom groups and the opportunity to host others in your home as you stream services. You can find us here:

The ROCC: REVIVE Online Campus Community


About this podcast:

Positioned to Prosper is a weekly podcast that covers the ins and outs of what it means to live a lifestyle of breakthrough and victory in your relationships, health, finances and beyond. Your host, Erica Pyle, is no stranger to jumping without the proverbial parachute while maintaining a firm grip on godly wisdom. A self-described slayer of pragmatism and a “walk by faith” kind of girl, Erica is an unabashed believer in the power of God to radically transform lives. Front-footed in faith as she offers straight-up truth, strategies, and wisdom for living victoriously, and equipped with her love for the word of God, her certification as a holistic health coach, and years of experience in personal finance and taxation, Erica is ready to help you get positioned to prosper.